Justin, marketing & promos guru, lets you behind the curtain.
Most of you don't know me. I'm the marketing guy. You get my emails, you've seen my ads, you've more than likely attended some of my promotional events. Yet, on top of all these duties, there is one job I cherish: the only GUY in the office. I get to lift the heavy boxes, I get to the be the bodyguard for the lovely ladies in the office when we go out to events. And when on that rare occasion someone decides to take a shot at my co-workers, I get to be the D.R. (Designated Responder). Don't get me wrong-- the vast majority of our clients and contacts are terrific, kind people. I get far more friendly correspondence than anything else. However, there is a certain anonymity to email that makes people think they can say whatever they like without reproach. Uh, wrong. You see, many cowardly, unhappy souls like to belittle others to make themselves feel better, and email proves a perfect forum. Most of these unkind people wouldn't have the audacity to criticize someone face to face, but they'll happily send a snarky, rude email. And when this inevitably happens (rarely, but it does), I graciously allowed to retort on behalf of the office. Some examples:
1) Inaugural vs. 1st Annual
I sent out an email blast thanking everyone for their attendance at our "first annual Eight at Eight Beach Trip to Destin, Florida." One guy decided to take me to task.
"First annual is incorrect usage. It should be "inaugural". I prefer to spend time with people who know the difference."
Au contraire, mon ami! My response:
Dear XYZ,
We carefully considered the usage of the term "first annual" prior to sending out our email. Just to be certain, we consulted Paul Brian's "Common Errors in English Usage." According to Brian:
"Some people get upset when the “first annual” occurrence of some event is announced, arguing that it doesn’t become annual until it’s been repeated. But “first annual” simply means 'the first of what is planned to be an annual series of events'—it’s a fine expression."
We in the office find that Brian's book is particularly useful when English usage questions come up. We've included the link to purchase the book from Amazon.com should you ever find yourself in need of such a manual.
2) The Inappropriate Guy
Some of Eight at Eight's best employees are pulled right from our client roster. We always try to find sociable, outgoing, and friendly people to host our events. So, when we find ourselves in need of someone new, we comb our email list before ever placing an ad. This practice, though, troubled one of our members.Below is response to one of my coworkers:
Do I get to bang guests for free as part of my salary? I think you should include that as a perk. Haha, why would you send this
out to perspective customers? It lowers the perceived value of 8at8 as a service. Why not
hire a bumb by a bridge who could enjoy the free booze and food?
No so fast, Skippy! No one talks to my coworkers that way! "Banging!" "Booze!" My response:
Dear ABC, We frequently send out our job postings and event notices to our members, former members
and prospective clients (note that I used the word "prospective," the appropritate word,
as opposed to "perspective," as you did below). We've found in our 10 years of business,
which dates back to when you were a whopping 15 years old!) that word-of-mouth is the best
way to recruit both customers and employees. The vast majority of our employees and clients
have been referred by friends. And seeing as how we are opening our sixth market in Washington, D.C.
next month, I feel certain that the consensus is that our "perceived
value" hasn't been lowered whatsoever as a result of our methods. And as for
"banging" guests -- You sound like such a charming guy. I can't imagine why a
25-year-old in the prime of his life for the bar/singles scene, would have even expressed
interest in our dating service! I'm sure you're laying pipe all over the city! Charming
guy like you?? And since you see no value in our service, I've removed you from our
email list.
Note the spelling of the word "bum" as well. Long story made short-- don't be that guy.
Our email blasts are made to be informaland quickly digested. Nobody likes a jackass,
either. So, please enjoy your stay at the zoo. Just remember, don't poke the bears!
