Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tips for Finding Love in the New Year!

In both good and bad economies, single executives want it all.  Whether the end goal is marriage or a significant relationship partner, love and romance ranks high on the executive's list of must-haves.  After 11 years of professional matchmaking, and consulting for some of metro Atlanta's top leaders, I've learned a lot about the keys to achieving successful work-life-love balance.  Here is a sneak peak into three key insights I revisit often with busy executives.

1. Yes, looks do matter...and not just to you For busy executives, the greatest fear is rejection and the greatest appeal is physical chemistry.  Executives want to start with physical attraction and then progress to social and intellectual compatibility.  And that's not only limited to men.  Women also care about physical chemistry.  That's why I tell my One on One Matchmaking members to not let their bank accounts do all the heavy lifting.  Our approach is very consultative - serving as a personal adviser to our members on attributes that influence their love lives.  Yes, success is attractive, but it's important that you have invested in your own physical appearance.  No only to get a successful love life, but to also live long enough to enjoy it. 

2. Ambition pays...even outside of the 9 to 5.  This is a concept that executives apply to just about every facet of their lives except their love life.  They work hard to receive the best credentials or accounts; manage their financial portfolio with intention; and compete hard in extracurricular activities.  However, many don't apply that same level of ambition and intention to love.  Ambition does not have to mean investing a lot of time.  It only means setting a plan, getting help if you need it, including, perhaps, a professional matchmaking service (shameless plug).

3. Schedule a personal life.  In today's 24-7 work life cycle, all successful leaders work on a schedule.  I always counsel my One on One Matchmaking members to get into the habit of scheduling time on your calendar for a personal life - at least two or three times per week - for social time with family, friends and peers.  Get into the habit now.  If you wait until you've met that someone special, it could already be too late and you risk foiling your chances at a major deal.

The bottom line, as my Dad always says, "life is a contact sport" and it's the contacts, the meaningful relationships, that make life worth living.  In today's ultra-connected society, there really is no excuse for busy executives not to make their love life a priority.  Hire professionals, like those of us at One on One Matchmaking, who can help you make time for a fulfilling love life.
Sarah Kathryn
Best Regards,
Sarah Kathryn Smith
(404) 888-1118

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


I love Groupon! Who doesn't love a great deal on food, clothing, and everything else in your life? Now you can get a great deal on your love life too. We are featured as Groupon's Side Deal of the Day! This is big news for us (and you too) because one dinner is being offered at the price of (GASP!) $**. Check out the Side Deal of the Day link to get in on the madness!   

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Evan Katz Talks About Why Eat, Pray, Love Can Be Harmful To Your (Emotional) Health

By: Evan Marc Katz, Dating Coach for Smart, Strong, Successful Women

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love”, felt trapped. She left her husband, sold a book, and took her book advance to find herself (and transcendent love) in Italy, India and Indonesia.
You know the rest.

Oprah, 3 years on New York Times Best Seller list, and now, a movie starring Julia Roberts. So it should be no surprise that “Eat, Pray, Love” has been on my mind recently. Not in the least because of the big billboard right outside my house, which says: “You Don’t Need a Man. You Need a Champion.”

You like the way that sounds, don’t you?
Well, if this line speaks to you…
If this is the way you truly feel about relationships…
If you really resonate with this and are holding out for no less than your own hero…
You’re most likely making a HUGE mistake.
Click below to learn about how men REALLY are, as opposed to how you WANT them to be.

As always, I don’t tell you what you want to hear.
I attempt to tell the male truth so you can make healthier decisions in love.
That’s why I feel so strongly about this email. Keep reading if you want to understand what’s REALLY on our minds…

Dear sarah,
“You don't need a man. You need a champion. You need a hero.”
Hey, those were your words. That’s what you’re holding out for in a man. Fair enough.

So, for a moment, I’d like you to imagine a movie designed specifically for men. Not an action movie, not a horror movie. A movie about one man’s perfect love. After years of being trapped in a sexless, emotionless marriage to a woman who didn’t want to have a baby, Alex leaves his wife to go find himself. Distraught, he decides to have an adventure.
He drives to Vegas. He flies to Ibiza. He journeys to Thailand. Until finally, he discovers the woman who gives him everything he needs.
He writes a book: “Drink, Play, F@#%”.

Howard Stern and Maxim magazine promote the hell out of it, and Alex sells the movie rights. Soon, it’s in a theater near you. You won’t see it, of course, but you can’t miss the ubiquitous billboards: “You don’t need a woman. You need a pornstar who cooks.” I said this to a private client the other day and she couldn’t suppress her cackle. Because she knew it was true.
You hold out for your hero, sarah. We’ll hold out for our Supermodel/Top Chef/Rhodes Scholar.
And all of us will end up alone because there’s nobody that fits the bill. The end!

Not a very happy ending, is it?
To learn what’s important to find in a man, check out “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men”, which shines the light in your blind spots and shows you a much more effective way to connect with guys. Click here to learn more:
Yes, I’m teasing about the billboard, but although my example may be a bit hyperbolic, it’s not that far from the truth.

Men really DO want the Supermodel/Top Chef/Rhodes Scholar. Women really DO want a hero and a champion. And yet, in order to find happiness, we both must relax our fantasies a little bit.
Not because they don’t feel great. They do. The reason to relax your fantasies is because they’re unrealistic, and they almost invariably lead to disappointment.

Take Bill, for example. Bill’s not a bad guy. He just wants his unrealistic male fantasy. If Bill really expects you to have the same body at 50 as you did at 20, he’s going to be really disappointed.
If Bill really expects you to allow him an “open relationship”, he’s going to be really disappointed.
If Bill really expects you to feed him, while he doesn’t even have to listen to you talk about your day, he’s going to be really disappointed. For Bill to be happy, we can all agree, he has to adjust to reality. If you’re coaching Bill, you tell him that he should be thrilled that he has an active, healthy, sexual woman who knows her way around the kitchen at all. You don’t encourage him to hold out for Angelina Jolie meets Rachael Ray. Do you?

Yet you still feel entitled to hold out for your fantasy. The hero. The champion. Listen, as a dating coach, my job is to help you find happiness in your love life. Because of this role, I have a unique access to your inner world. You might even say that I often understand you better than your own boyfriend. Which is why it’s very easy for me to observe that your expectations of men are RARELY met. Sometimes, you’re 100% correct in your assessment.
If he doesn’t call you regularly…
If he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend…
If he doesn’t ever hint at a future…
Dump his ass NOW. But these aren’t the only expectations that aren’t being met by men. I usually hear something like this: “I don’t know, Evan. I just don’t feel INSPIRED by him.” Come again? “I want to feel that thing in the pit of my stomach. To get nervous when he calls. To admire him and think about him all the time when we’re not together. ”You realize that every time you’ve had that feeling, it’s never worked out, right? “Yes, but I can’t help how I feel.” Fair enough.

Just know that, percentage-wise, the number of men who are cute, smart, kind, tall, funny, generous, ambitious, successful, and family-oriented is miniscule. Now you want to add in “inspirational”? You know how many men are left? That’s okay. Neither do I.

The message of this email isn’t about settling. It’s not about being with a man you can barely tolerate.It’s about the expectation of what a man is capable of delivering. There are millions upon millions of decent looking, thoughtful, bright, solid men who want to marry you, cherish you, build a family, and create a life together. If only you would love them and accept them.

Believe me, nobody wants you to achieve your dreams more than I do. But if you’re holding out for a hero, yet no guy ever fits the bill (and also sticks around!), it may be time to act like Bill, who finally gave up on his Angelina Jolie fantasy and is thrilled to have found YOU. This is how a man finds love. By accepting all that you are, imperfections included. You need to do the same with him. And if you don’t know where to find a man, I have a few ideas…
Click here to learn more about Finding the One Online, which shows you how to use the internet successfully to find love, just like thousands of my clients:

Warmest wishes and much love,
Your friend,
P.S. My client, Holly, who is 80 lbs overweight, didn’t believe in the Finding the One Online technique until she actually tried it. Here’s what she had to say after 4 weeks:
On a personal note, I am BUSY!!!  I almost feel like it has turned into a game show with me yelling NEXT every couple of weeks.  Men continue to seek me out and I am loving it.  I have 3 guys "on the line" right now and am having the time of my life.  Having worked with you, I fully believe that I am a PRIZE to be won.  If a man isn't willing to do the work, show he cares or does things that drive me crazy, I move on.  My friends laugh because I have a preset phrase I send in an email.  Everyone laughs at work when I say, I had to send the "after much thought and consideration" email.  I continue to slave away at the gym and am quite happy with the results. Thanks for everything you have done for me.  You totally ROCK!!
Click here to feel more in control of your love life – to attract more men and higher quality men online.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Dao of Dabbling in Digital Dating


Honesty, honesty, honesty. You turned to online dating so you could avoid flying to every city to sift through eligible singles. Why would you sabotage your odds of finding your ideal match by misrepresenting what needs to be matched?

All in the details. A rockin’ photo alone can get you dates, but as far as a committed relationship, put time and effort into the information you dispense about yourself. It’s a reflection of you – don’t cloud your mirror!

The picture is worth all your words. If your profile is a wheel, your photo is the hub and the information represents its spokes. The homerun photo should show you smiling directly into the camera.

Practice safe dates. When meeting someone in person for the first time, always tell a friend about the meeting and make sure to choose a public place.


It’s not personal. Who knows the real reason why flyfishin75 didn’t return your wink? It’s probably not an intentional blow to your ego. Move on – there are countless fish in the online ocean.

Unicorns don’t exist. While you try to keep things honest, some people may still be telling the same lies that didn’t work for them offline. Examine profiles with a skeptical eye and keep a watch out for the unicorns – profiles that sound too good to be true.

Here’s my card. There’s never a need to hand out protected, privileged information to an online interest…Unless you’re an officer of cyber justice trying to trap online scammers.