We Hate Valentine's Day

I know: it sounds weird coming from someone in the matchmaking business to hate Valentine's Day. Feb. 14 is one of those days to celebrate love and renew commitments and flowers, cupids, chocolate, blah blah blah.

Its artificial. The greeting card industry pumps the importance of V-Day into our heads in order to sell a lot of sentimental junk. As a consequence, it makes those of us who aren't in a relationship feel AWFUL. How many people have gone on terrible dates just so they wouldn't have to stay alone on Valentine's Day? How much cash has been wasted buying a 4-ft.-tall stuffed bear for someone you started dating 3 weeks prior who you really aren't crazy about but who you don't have the heart to dump right before Valentine's?

Here's what we suggest: get together with you single friends and have a night out on the town. Better yet, throw a party and invite all your friends (single or otherwise). Feb. 14 is always one of the busiest restaurant nights of the year. Save the cash, buy some terrific appetizers, and donate the money you would have spent to something more beneficial to the world than, say, Hallmark.

Or, gather all of your single co-workers for a game of "Obnoxiousness Bingo." Make a form on Excel and fill in the cells with some of the following:

• kissy noises into the phone


• singing telegrams


• neckties with hearts on them


• over-the-top flower arrangements


• crying person in bathroom stall, upset over no special deliveries.

I hope you're beginning to see where we are coming from. Valentine's Day is just ridiculous. Why not make every day an opportunity to share your affection for someone. Surprise that somebody special with flowers for no reason. Treat yourselves to a great dinner out on a random Tuesday when you'd normally be eating Hamburger Helper while wathcing "American Idol." And for our singles, forget the pressure of V-day. Its an arbitrary date on the calendar, no more, no less.

A Gift for Single People

To: You

From: Eight at Eight!

The infectuous Holiday spirit has grabbed hold of us. We have a gift for all of you singles out there. But, just like a gift under the tree, you can't have it now. We'll be ripping the gift wrap off of this puppy the first of the year! Until then, keep your filthy mits off the box, people! Remember: patience is a virtue.

Happy Holidays!

New Year's (Pe)Eve!

Every holiday or major event comes with its share of annoyances. New Year's Eve is no different. Why is it that we all seem to suffer from collective amnesia when it comes to NYE? Thinking back, most of my nights out on December 31st were nightmares, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Why do we always claim to have a wonderful time on NYE when, in fact, its generally a major pain? Is it the booze? The overwhelming hopefulness of the coming year? Am I just a grump? You tell me: here are some of my most aggravating experiences during New Year's Eve nights out.

1) The bathroom line.

You know this has happened to you: It's 40 minutes until the New Year, so you rush to the bathroom to beat the lines and be back in time for Dick Clark to count down that giant ball. Like you, everyone in the building is operating according to the same strategy. Just as you approach the stall, the chant begins... 10, 9, 8... Another new year celebrated amid a stack of seat covers!

2) Party favors.

Confetti. Annoying horns. Silly Hats. Beads. 'Nuff said.

3) Too Many People.

You drop $150 for the most happening party in town. You get to the door and its stacked 50 deep at the bar. The door guy approaches you and offers V.I.P. treatment for an additional $50, which takes you upstairs to a bar that is merely 40 people deep! And don't be fooled by the 2 AM breakfast buffet--it's bad...

4) Vomit.

Someone, without fail, will throw up in proximity to you. It's a fact of life.

5) Taxis.

4-leaf clovers are easier to come by than a cab on New Year's Eve. By 3 AM, you'd give the deed to house for a guy pulling a rickshaw and a bottled water.

6) Where'd my friend go?

You're at a party in the ballroom of a hotel and there are 6000 people amid disco lights and smoke. You're going to get separated from your group. You will not find them. Why? Because they are in the bathroom line (see #1).

I must admit, though, that the best NYE celebrations have always been at a friend's house, away from the sound and the fury, the hustle and the bustle. Do yourself a favor: avoid the throng of people. Invite your nearest and dearest over. Buy a few bottles of bubbly (grape juice or champagne, whichever floats your boat), and then make a resolution to do it more often. You'll thank us. Here's wishing you a happy, healthy 2009!

Return to Normalcy...

The election is over. I think all of us can agree it was both a grueling and exhilerating process. Most of us are exhausted by all the presidential rhetoric and incessant advertisements by this time, but it did provide some exciting drama and more than a few laughs (Tina Fey, anyone?).

If you are anything like me, you've put your life on hold for the last month or so, spending your free time picking apart debates and waiting for the obligatory gaff or Freudian slip. But now that its all over, its time to return to your life. Here's some suggestions for returning to your life without elections!

1) TiVo: You have the last 11 episodes of "The Office," several hours of "90210" that you accidentally recorded, and several bad guys have been arrested on "CSI:Topeka" that you have completely missed. The Holiday season is approaching, so we advise the following: go to the gym and have a killer workout, then sit in front of the tube for a weekend and catch up on your favorite shows. Yeah, its lazy and unproductive, but we'll forgive you!

2) Reconcile: Admit it--you let a few friendships wither a bit due to political reasons. Now that the election is over, you can resume normal communication. Invite that dumbass who voted for XYZ for lunch. And be cordial. Presidential terms last four years; good friends last forever.

3) Movie Time: Here's how the cycle works-summer is for blockbuster popcorn flicks like Iron Man and The Dark Knight. Fall is usually the dead zone where the studios dump all the crap that's left at the bottom of the barrel on us. However, winter is when the good stuff comes out. Expect a great Pixar movie and all the "prestige" films that are gunning for Academy Awards in February. Grab your local listings and check out a good movie.

4) Uh, Eight at Eight? Hello!: You knew this was coming, right? The Holidays are quicky approaching, which means lots of travel and shopping and parties. Have some you time before this hullaballoo starts in earnest. Plus, you might meet someone intriguing to take to the Holiday parties at work.

5) Volunteer: Thanksgiving is busy time at our local homeless shelters. How about give something back this season? Yeah, its time consuming, but it beats watching five consecutive episodes of "Gray's Anatomy" while eating pizza, no?

Dating Horror Stories

Special Halloween Edition!

As was I sitting in the office sucking down all the mini-Snickers that were supposed to be for trick-or-treaters, I began to get in the Halloween spirit. I started contemplating all the usual Halloween topics--favorite scary movies, best costumes, old school ghost stories, etc. This got me thinking: what about dating horror stories. We all have them, and, being that this a dating blog, it certainly would be apropos. I remembered this little gem from The San Francisco Chronicle that appeared a few years ago about the foibles on online dating. Take a look. It's funny stuff!

I'll be sticking with this theme for the duration of the month, tossing out bits of Halloween-themed tidbits. I love Halloween -- maybe its the devil in me.

Love Songs, Etc.

It's a dreary, rainy day here at the office. A disc jockey at a local radio station commented that this gray mess is perfect "love makin'" weather. I don't take issue with his correlation of "nookie" and rainy days. What I do have a problem with is the song choice that followed. I'm sure you've guessed it already-- Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On." It's a certified classic, no arguments here, but its time to retire it. Its a cliche of itself. Boring white septuagenarian dentists can sing every word. Not to mention, there are far better (and sexier) songs in the Marvin Gaye oeuvre. A staw poll here at the office reveals a stronger preference for "You're All I Need to Get By" and "Sexual Healing."

All of this discussion brought us to this: what other sacred cows in the love song genre need to taked down, or, perhaps, just out of rotation for a few years. Here are a few tired songs and our suggested replacements. Feel free to chime in. (You're right... we do a whole lot of goofing off at work.)

Get rid of it: "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin
Substitute: "I'll Be Your Lover Too" by Van Morisson

Get rid of it: "Every Breath You Take" by The Police
Substitute: "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak

Get rid of it: Anything by Sade
Substitute: Anything by Maxwell

Get rid of it: "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers
Substitute: "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker

Get rid of it: "A Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins
Substitute: "I've Got Dreams to Remember" by Otis Redding.

No arguing:
"At Last" by Etta James
"Bring It On Home to Me" by Sam Cooke
"Your Song" by Elton John

Let us know what you think. This has prompted a rather heated discussion here at Eight at Eight Headquaters! And here's hoping that the weather improves. If it doesn't, well... I'm sure you can find something to occupy your time.

Dating Etiquette During Election Season

I know, I know: when vetting potential partners, you need to know about their political views. I get that. However, there is a time and a place! More than a few otherwise charming and adorable singles have been written off due to their political fervor that is, quite frankly, off putting. To that end, we've brainstormed this idea at the office and came up with some do's and do-not's until you pull the election lever.

1) Never assume someone shares your opinion.
Example: "Can you believe that [candidate x] wants to [insert controversial proposal here]? I mean, the nerve, right?

2) Asking someone's party affiliation might not fly until after the 1st month milestone.
If your conversations with potential matches go something like this, you may be in trouble.

You: Hi, I'm Karen.
Him: I'm David.
You: Nice to meet you, David. What do you do?
Him: I'm an investment banker.
You: Oh, yeah? That's interesting.
Him: What about y---
You: (interrupting) Democrat or Republican?
Him: Wow, I was just...
You: (interrupting) Answer the question, flip-flopper!

3) As a rule, politics and religion make poor conversation fodder.
Yeah, I get it: the weather is dull. But you know what? Dull has never offended anyone, either. Politics might fly a little better on odd-numbered years, but during election season, everyone is a bit more inclined to tear your head off. Think about it: the pundits on cable news can't even speak in a civil manner about elections, so how can two strangers, particularly when after the second pinot noir?

4) Opposites attract, so don't shut the door on those who disagree with you.
Think: Carville and Matalin. Political differences can be overcome, but don't make that the first hurdle. Focus on someone's personality, their manners, hell, their looks! In general, its tough to seek only those who match you perfectly on ever idea and hobby. Imagine the difficulty of finding a lapse-Catholic, rock-climbing, vegan, Libertarian, Harley-enthusist, competitive video gaming, scrapbooking attorney who has a 401(k) and loves dogs, but not cats. Good luck with that...

As always, we return to our mantra of sorts: be yourself, relax, extend others some courtesy, and you'll be fine. And maybe you should consider leaving the Obama or McCain "flair" at home.