The Key is Finding Someone to Love!

I've got lots of clients that are picky. They are often dismissing the opportunity to meet quality introductions that I'm suggesting on a snap judgment. I was up the other night because I was worried about a particularly picky client and challenged by his lack of adventure when it comes to dating! I remembered a section of one of my all time favorite books - How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love by Judith Stills, Ph.D.

This book is no longer in publication - if you buy it on Amazon you'll pay a premium. But it has lots of excellent advice for singles. I highly recommend it. Here is an excerpt that has helped me lately - hope it helps you too!

Sarah Kathryn

*****

You walk into a party or a bar and in three minutes (more likely three seconds, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt) you've made a judgment: There's no one here who's my type. They're all jerks. You may even pride yourself on knowing your tastes and preferences so well that you seldom err in your first impressions of potential mates.

I would like to focus your attention on two points. First, if you are a person who takes pride in these lighting-quick judgements of others, I'll bet that you find your judgements are predominantly negative. People who allow themselves to make rapid judgments most often make negative ones because they're very safe. If you avoid someone because, in your opinion, he's a fool or she's flaky, how can you ever really be proved wrong? you can simply chalk it up to matters of taste, pride yourself on your selectiveness, and avoid that person so you never have an opportunity to discover if you're wrong.

Positive attitudes and positive judgments are riskier. They open you up to more people, more experiences, and the possibility of disappointment. Of course, they open you up to the possibility of more happiness as well, but many people cling hard to the better-safe-than-sorry stance.

Please forgive this lecture. It's just that it has sometimes been so frustrating to listen to genuinely lonely people who react critically to a potential partner because of the most trivial idiosyncrasies and based on the most premature of opinions. Most men and women report to me that they judge whether or not someone could ever be a potential partner at first glance. These same people would report that physical appearance is only one, and not the most important one, of many criteria for choosing a mate. Then why screen out so many potential candidates at first sight?

This is the most negative attitude of them all: the perspective that someone else must push all the right buttons and your response is entirely out of your control. Of course, anyone who is so helpless before his or her own negative attitudes has only one option - to wait for magic. The catch is, it can be a very long wait and the magic can be a very short ride.

End of lecture.

Clever Table at Emporium Brasil!

At Eight at Eight Dinner Club, we are huge believers in round tables. They are conducive to conversations and flirtatious winking, everyone can see everyone, and it creates the perfect setting for a dinner party. This is the holy grail of table shapes for us, but sometimes, our clever hostesses create an equally enchanting table all on their own!

Matchmaker Jen Moeller on

Airs Saturdays after SNL on NBC8at8

Featured on 7/31 - select cities

On July 31, watch Eight at Eight Dinner Club's very own Matchmaker Jen Moeller will compete in The Match Off! Each week two professional matchmakers compete to find the best date for a tough-to-please single. Only one will win and be crowned the ultimate Cupid.

The show airs right after NBC's Saturday Night Live. You can tune into Jen's artistry on July 31st on NBC stations in Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, Miami, Dallas, San Diego, San Francisco, Hartford and Washington, D.C. If you're going to be out of town, schedule your business trips to the cities listed above! Otherwise, you can check out "The Match Off" archives. I can't wait!

Love,
Sarah Kathryn

The Sweaty, Crooked, Tattered Truth For Blokes

As a matchmaker I walk a fine line between speaking the truth and biting my tongue. Oftentimes, the easiest way to deliver bad news to bachelors is to give them feedback I'm getting about them. Let me tell you GUYS what I hear from ladies as turn-offs. Warning: May induce vomiting or trigger gag reflex.

Turn-off #1 EXCESSIVE SWEATING
Sweating coincides with being overweight. If you're a dead ringer for pre-Subway Jared, you have got to get some help! Being overweight means you're out of shape or lazy. There is nothing - I mean NOTHING - grosser than sitting across from a guy who can't put a dam on his waterfall. Pit stains just don't compare to the tributaries of sweat forming over your face from a brisk walk to the restroom. I see it all the time and it has to stop! Do you really think any woman wants to see you naked?! (Deep breaths.) There's good news: You can control this. The body loses its ability to regulate itself when it doesn't get enough exercise, so get your feet treading on something. Take walks, swim, hike, skate, rumba, etc. There's ten million fun ways to get back into shape, and a dainty dab of deodorant never hurts either.

Turn-off #2 BAD TEETH
It it amazing how simple getting your teeth fixed can be. Your smile might be okay but why not make it perfect? It's somewhat affordable and for 50% of women, it's the first thing they notice about you! I wish so badly that I could recommend Invisalign to all my clients. Maybe your teeth are "sort of straight" but you want your front line soldiers to be the best that they can be! This product will line them up perfectly and you only have to wear a retainer at night. Dental imperfections may work in favor of some people - gap-toothed David Letterman, gnarly-mouthed Steve Buscemi, and fang-toothed Christian Bale - but if you aren't a household name, get rolling with the whitening and straightening. You might think they're "not all that bad", but trust me: They are!

Turn off #3 OLD CLOTHES
Repeat after me: If an article of clothing is over 3 years old, throw it out. If it needs carbon dating, BURN IT. Working with a stylist is not expensive. Macy's and Nordstrom have ladies who do not work on commission who will help you assemble a reinvigorated wardrobe. Trust me, it really makes their day to turn an Ugly Duckling into the Swan Prince. Plan on investing in a first date outfit (including shoes, a watch, and a belt) and wear it religiously. Even if you're dating 7 nights a week, no one will notice the outfit recycling but you! You will be so amazed at the compliments you receive just by cleaning up your fashion act.

I am on the front lines talking to over 100 singles every week. I'm merely a messenger (don't shoot me!), but to optimize your chances of finding the best person out there please take these into consideration. Best of luck!

From 8at8 with love,
Sarah Kathryn Smith

Are You the Chips to My Salsa?

Eight at Eight Dinner Club vigilantly aims to find you the Jim to your Pam, sun for your sand, and just maybe the chips to your salsa. We get so excited when we find singles who we think would be a perfect match for one another. To keep this happiness train chuggin’ along, we want to help you know yourself better, a vital factor in setting up your hot coco with your very own marshmallows.

Do you have two left hands when it comes to silverware? Get a few tips on fine etiquette for that special dinner at 8 o’clock! The Emily Post Institute offers numerous blogs, articles and advice on improving your professional and social swag here.


There’s room for two in a warm bed, so don’t ruin it by pulling UFC moves on your sleep buddy. There’s only one way to find out if you and your new 8pm flame fit best as Excalibur dozers.


With the advent of the sexiest mobile device ever conceived by Steve Jobs and the Apple brigade, I thought I’d touch on the following. It’s impossible to keep up with technology, so as life is to a garden, I try to “just dig it”. There’s an app for everything these days, from apps that help you avoid dating disasters to apps for wine lovers. Who knows? These may come handy when you least expect it!

What are your ideal pairings? We hope it includes you and Eight at Eight!

Michael Bolton-less Love Songs Mixtape

I am not ashamed to admit that once in a while, I get hooked on the soft rock station and do the most spectacular renditions of songs like "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "More Than Words". Although I have the time of my life belting out the chorus and mumbling away or brushing my teeth to the rest of the song, most times I prefer something much less...sensational.

When I want love songs, I look to songs that do not repeat "I LOVE YOU" into the high double digits. Some of the best love songs don't even use the word love. If they do, it is done ever so tastefully, and most importantly, a good love song certainly does not contain earth shattering keytar solos.

Here's a quick list of love songs that always give me butterflies without (too much) reverb. Click on the songs to listen to them:

Idea of Growing Old lyrics By: The Features

If There's Love lyrics By: Citizen Cope

And He Gets the Girl lyrics By: Lupe Fiasco

Pressure Suit lyrics By: Aqualung

Funny Valentine lyrics By: Frank Sinatra

I Miss You lyrics By: Incubus

A Little Bit lyrics By: Lykke Li

This Will Be Our Year lyrics By: The Zombies

Day Too Soon lyrics By: Sia

I Will Follow You into the Dark lyrics By: Death Cab for Cutie

Have stories about love songs that are so bad they're good? We want to hear from you! Go to 8at8.com to meet the person of your dreams to whom you would dedicate your modern mixtape! See you at 8 o'clock!

Well Worth The Wait

Angie is getting married!

Our matchmaker who has worked with Eight at Eight
for over 5 years is getting hitched to a fantastic guy.
If you get a chance, shoot her a congratulatory email!